Building a Support System to Weather a Difficult Divorce

4 min


man in gray crew neck long sleeve shirt standing beside woman in black crew neck shirt

Regardless of where you are in the process of getting a divorce, it can be challenging and isolating. From the first time the thought enters your mind to after the proceedings are finalized, the impact of a divorce stays with you for a long time. Along with affecting any future relationships you have, it can also make you feel completely alone.

During this difficult time, it is essential to have a well established support system that you can rely on to help you through it. While a Henderson Divorce Lawyer can offer plenty of guidance on how to go about the divorce proceedings, they can offer very little in the form of emotional support. For that, you will have to reach out to friends and family.

Family and Friends

People closest to you are the first ones you can turn to for emotional support during this especially troubling time. However, people who are going through a divorce can sometimes feel alienated from their friends and family. Due to feelings of embarrassment, people can usually avoid close relatives and the support they provide. People can especially have a hard time communicating with their friends if their spouse is a part of their social circle. It can feel like your friends need to “pick a side” during the divorce.

However, a lot of these anxieties turn out not to be true when you actually talk to your loved ones. Not only can they be supportive, but they can also be understanding of what you are going through. Even your family attorney will suggest that you build a more robust support system to help you better deal with your emotions.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

Furthermore, when you’re discussing divorce with your loved ones, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them what kind of support you need. Do you just need someone to be around you and listen? Or do you need someone to spend time with your kids while you go out to deal with legal matters? Or do you just need someone to be emotionally there for you throughout this ordeal? By setting these boundaries from the beginning, you can be sure to get the help that you need to get through this difficult time.

Avoid Negative Talk

By being vocal about the support that you need, you can also tell them about what you don’t need from them. Sometimes, friends and family can try to make you feel better by saying negative things about your ex-spouse. They could talk about their flaws or focus on how they didn’t deserve you. While these types of conversations can be reassuring, they can also foster an unhealthy environment.

This environment can be especially bad around your children, since this can paint negative perceptions about the other parent. If you have family members or friends that focus on this way of coping with your situation, then you should have an honest conversation about how this is not helpful. You need to tell them about how this kind of negative talk can make for a less emotionally stable home environment.

Community Support

Even though support from friends and family is essential, they might have a hard time understanding what you are going through. They might be able to lend you an ear and be there for you; very few, if any, will understand what you’re going through. So, along with friends and family, it is healthy to find community support. An advantage of hiring an experienced divorce attorney is that they are usually in touch with a lot of community efforts that focus on helping people with divorce. If you ask them, they will likely connect you with one that is closest to you.

Here, you can meet people who have gone through similar experiences. Not only can they relate to you on a more personal level, but they can also help guide you through the difficulties that you’re going through by telling you about their personal experiences.

Hearing about some of the personal experiences that others have gone through can help you move on from your current situation in a healthier manner. But more importantly, seeking out community with people who have gone through a similar experience helps fight that isolating feeling that comes when dealing with a divorce.

The Emotional and Psychological Support of Community

One of the most obvious benefits of a community effort is that you get to see firsthand how different people are coping with their specific situations. It gives you hope of how you can move on from your current situation. It also helps that social media sites like Facebook can also help you connect to community efforts that might be more difficult to find closest to you. For instance, members of the LGBTQIA+ community might have an experience that many cis people will have trouble connecting with.

But using social media, you can find these different communities and then join them. It doesn’t just help boost your self esteem, but it can also help you feel like you are part of a much larger community. Niche communities, like the LGBTQIA+ community, can also offer emotional or financial support to members who are cut off from their families.

Getting Professional Help

Taking care of your mental health during the divorce proceedings can be difficult, as you’re looking to juggle multiple things at the same time. Therefore, talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist can help you stay calm and more relaxed throughout the divorce proceedings. Anxiety and depression are unfortunately common when going through a divorce, and a licensed therapist can help you deal with all of your emotions in a more positive manner.

Try to avoid taking any medication for anxiety or depression based on recommendations from friends and family. These types of medicine can have a very serious impact on your overall well-being, and you shouldn’t experiment with them without first consulting a professional.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help

A major reason why people struggle during a divorce is because they feel ashamed or embarrassed of their situation. However, it is important that you ask for help, even when you have an experienced family lawyer on your side. Having a robust support system can not only help you through the divorce proceedings but it can also help you move on with your life in a healthier way.


0 Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Send this to a friend